Just to bring myself back to reality for a minute, I think 'I'll describe a neighbor.

There is the lady that has lived in my building for almost 40 years.
She claims she can hear "EEEEeeeeeverything".
Her favorite thing to do is to let her cat in and out of the house all day long.
This wouldn't be so bad if her door didn't shake the entire building every time she closed it.
Sometimes her cat takes walks beyond the front steps.
When this happens, my stable neighbor comes to the door in pink curlers and a smock yelling for her cat, "Fifi, come home...Fifi, where are you. baby? Fifi...come on, it's getting dark and I haven't opened the door and slammed it shut in 8 minutes and I'm worried about you...."

About a month ago, my mother came over.
She saw Fifi on the front steps and began to pet him.
She turned to me in half worry, half disgust saying, "My God, this cat is starving"
A-Go-Go: No mom, trust me, that cat is not starving.
Mom: Feel it, it's all bones!"
A-Go-Go: The lady spoils that cat. THe only way the cat would be starving is if.....

I instantly get worried because Fifi's owner is like 70 or 90 or something and the thought crossed my mind that maybe she died in her recliner and Fifi has been outside for days....I didn't recall the door being slammed every 5 minutes unless I just got used to the sound and it doesn't phase me anymore.

A-Go-Go: I hope she's OK. What if she's in there DEAD?

Suddenly, the door swings open and there she stood, pink curlers and a smock.

Neighbor: I just want to let you know that Fifi is not starving. He eats a lot everyday. And I'm not dead.